Best Song

Tik Tok Lyrics (

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
(Hey, what up girl?)
Grab my glasses, I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit this city
(Lets go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
‘Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back

I’m talking pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy

Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no

Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no

Ain’t got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain’t got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here
And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

I’m talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys tryin’ to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

Now, now, we go until they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us

Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no

Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no

DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
http://www.elyricsworld.com/tik_tok_lyrics_ke$ha.html

With my hands up
You got me now
You got that sound
Yeah, you got me

DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up

Now, the party don’t start ’til I walk in

Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no

Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no

Published in: on December 31, 2009 at 11:41 am  Leave a Comment  

confession

mmmm. I don’t think there is anything better than getting totally wired on coffee and rockstar then driving 90 MPH to get to work jamming to some old school ghetto music… singing at the top of my lungs… Only wishing I still had my kicker box in the trunk.. ha ha… do people still call them kicker boxes?? ha ha I’m sooo old.

Published in: on December 31, 2009 at 9:58 am  Leave a Comment  

My Verse for the Day

Matthew 12:35-36 (New International Version)

35The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

Published in: on December 30, 2009 at 11:01 am  Leave a Comment  

wired & depression

Good morning,

I’ve been feeling depressed up and down in the month of December, but the last couple days I’ve been working out extremely hard.  I’m finding that I’m really happy when I work out and can pushed negative thoughts out of my mind pretty easily. 

The hard part is once I’m in that rut I can’t seem to pull myself out of it for a while. I’ve been back and forth about taking medications, but since I’m on chemo I’d rather not have any other drugs floating around my system.  I just need to stay motivated and continue to work out! 🙂

Published in: on December 30, 2009 at 10:59 am  Leave a Comment  

Yesterday

Yesterday I burned 985 calories working out between going to the gym and Wii fitness coach. It was awesome! I always feel good when I work out. 

When I don’t, I feel like killing myself.

Published in: on December 29, 2009 at 12:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

i’m back

I think I’m back to my normal self.  I had a nice breakfast with my family this morning and this afternoon went to my best friends house and spent Christmas with her family.  It was a nice time.  I feel peaceful.  This morning I couldn’t stop crying.  Now I just feel OK.

I need to keep myself out of depression.  My poor husband has depression as well so when I get low, I start bringing him lower than he already is.

Published in: on December 25, 2009 at 10:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

is this day over….

i’m having a pity party for myself over here.  i’m sitting by the fireplace and the christmas tree crying… there are no gifts under the tree this year… i’m so sick of this depressing life.

Published in: on December 25, 2009 at 9:15 am  Leave a Comment  

kill me now

I really need to stay off facebook.  It’s just a place for everyone to brag about their wonderful lives.

I really do want to be happy. I don’t want to be depressed.
Merry F&#$^% Christmas!

Published in: on December 25, 2009 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  

Remember When….

This morning as Christmas morning is here I looked out the window to see the early morning glow of light from the neighbor’s house.  My neighbor has 5 kids.  Thinking about the tree and all his kids opening gifts in the morning reminds me of when I was younger…. waking up my parents early in the morning, before the sunrise even sometimes.  Christmas was one of our best days of the year at our house.  I miss those days.  When things were easy and there were no worries.  I never had to think about will the bills be paid, will someone die of cancer or will my husband leave me because I’m a total bitch.

Last night my husband and I served at a homeless shelter.  I thought I’d leave feeling more grateful for my life, but I didn’t.  I left there realizing that I’ll never be a Grandmother.  Hearing about one of the volunteers joy of going to see her Grandchildren and how wonderful it is that she can spend time with them and not have to discipline or go through all the “parenting” stuff with the kids,  She explained it as “pure joy”.  I want that joy in my life.

For a moment when I was laying the PADS on the floor for the people who were going to stay there I prayed for each person that would be sleeping on the Pad in hopes that they would have a better life and know God.  It was a good experience and I’m glad to have done it with my husband.  I also realize that he and I are truly one paycheck away from being homeless ourselves.

Merry Christmas.

Published in: on December 25, 2009 at 8:57 am  Leave a Comment  

Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I feel like I should be happier about Christmas, but I’m really not.  Since this is the me that no one knows about but close close friends… I’ll be completely honest! I’m not looking forward to Christmas or new years.  I haven’t felt excited about much lately. I feel angry and depressed all the time.  I just want to ram into another car on the highway and end it (life) already.  This whole year has sucked! I realize that there were some nice blessings…. mostly for other people, but I appreciate the time I’ve been spending with friends. I’m grateful that my husband is working at least part time when he could easily not be working at all.  Hopefully in 2010 we will sell our house and be able to start new again.  Hopefully the cancer will go away, although I’m kind of doubting it, but maybe we’ll get a little baby through foster care and be able to adopt them.  We’ll see.  I don’t have many expectations for 2010.  I just want to live… oh wait… I really don’t.  OK we’ll see what happens.

Right now I’m just watching the clock until it hits noon so that I can lock the doors and head to the gym.  I’m learning that if I can’t control anything else in my life I can control what I do with my body.  I have a goal to lose 40 more pounds by my birthday which is 6 months away!  I know I can do it if I just shut my mouth and stop eating crap!

Over and out! I’ll share more of my positive story another day. 🙂 Peace!

Published in: on December 24, 2009 at 11:25 am  Leave a Comment